Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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