Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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