If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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