Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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