yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
