Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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