Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
