We're facebook friends in real life
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
