I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
