...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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