i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize