Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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