My nipple is on Facebook.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
