So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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