You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
