Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
