chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
