Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize