so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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