i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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