You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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