Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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