i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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