She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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