so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
