he wants to bone in the snuggie
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.