Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think