Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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