Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
