In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
