You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
