So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize