I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
