Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
