She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
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But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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