I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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