You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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