We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
