ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
