You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
