we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
