I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize