You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
