did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize