Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
