somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
