Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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