What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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