I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize