For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
