Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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