saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
