Im at strip club and am horny
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
