She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize