chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
