But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
