Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
