Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
