It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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