it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
