Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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