In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
