ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
