genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
