69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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