after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
