taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
