I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
