all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
