I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
