Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize