i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
